Sometimes I feel like I can relate to David a little more than I’d like to admit. Read through the Psalms and I think you’ll see what I mean. There are these beautiful moments of triumph, moments of sweet and intimate worship unto the Lord. “How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!” And then in seemingly an instant he is pleading with the Lord to “Slay the wicked! Away from me you who are bloodthirsty!” David takes us on these emotional rollercoasters all the time (after all, he was an artist ) But if I’m being honest, I do the same thing all the time.
The war over the emotions of my heart and the thoughts of my mind is a daily battle. And I don’t always win it.
David has an insightful and encouraging take on this in Psalm 139:1-4 —
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.
Don’t miss that truth. He knows you. All of you. The good, bad, the ugly. He knows your every thought. That one that just popped into your head — He already knows it! Before a word is on your tongue, he’s already heard you speak it. He is familiar with ALL of your ways. That is amazing. And that is terrifying. Because if you’re anything like me, the thoughts of my anxious heart I’d often rather not share. And there are words that I’ve spoken I’d prefer no one ever hear. But He knows it all. And he is still faithful.
In verses 7-10 David goes on to ask —
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
The truth is, there is nowhere you and I can outrun the spirit, the presence, the mercy, the love and the grace of our Savior. Nowhere. And verse 10 says He will hold us fast! He’s got it all figured out. And the moment I start to actually believe this truth in the depths of my soul is the moment I can finally be free from the anxiety that riddles my heart. No matter the depth of your depression or the mountain of fear you’re facing, he will hold you fast.
So let’s seek today to do as David did. Let’s ask the Lord to know our hearts, to test our anxious thoughts, to see if there is any wicked way in us and to lead us in the way everlasting. And let’s believe he’ll do exactly that, because he is faithful
