Have you ever had a crazy idea that you conned some friends into undertaking with you? You know, one of those moments where someone has an idea and you all jump on board, only to realize it's a lot more dangerous or difficult than you first conceived?
Eight of us decided (at my urging) to read through the Bible in 90 days. Inspired by the workout program P90X, we would undertake 45 minutes to an hour of reading each day and devour the Bible. It sounded cool and we were all on board!
We ended up with far more than we bargained for with this undertaking. The pace required to finish the Bible in 90 days demanded more of our time than any of us realized. While eight of us started reading, only three of us finished. I got so far behind at one point that to catch up, I read all of the prophets (major and minor) in three days. This required several hours of reading each day. This wasn't my typical reading material for vacation, but since this was my idea, I wanted to finish it.
Those of us who finished got together to share what we learned. Over tacos and enchiladas, we talked about the patterns we noticed that we had never seen before. My friend Rob observed that humans have a problem with intimacy.
Starting with the Genesis 3 account of the fall in the garden with Adam and Eve literally hiding from God, Rob ticked off a list of the many moments throughout the Bible where humans ran from intimacy with God and with each other. He said whenever the opportunity for intimacy and vulnerability with God came, humans ran away and reached for other safer options which left them feeling in control.
As the years have passed since that conversation and quick journey through the Bible, I have seen the wisdom of Rob's insight echo again and again. I've seen humanity's intimacy issues be a major barrier to friendship with God. I've seen this in my own life, in my study of the Bible, and in my work as a pastor.
We're afraid of being seen and known. So we ask, "If I was truly honest and vulnerable with God, would I be rejected? Can I trust God's unconditional love?"
We're afraid of depending on God. So we ask, "If I really stopped depending on myself and started depending on God, would He let me down? Would He come through for me?"
We're afraid of surrendering to God. So we ask, "If I trusted God and began following Him, could I handle the feeling of being out of control? Would I be okay with where God led me?"
One of the most profound examples of friendship and intimacy with God occurred when Moses stepped into the tabernacle while the Hebrews were journeying in the wilderness. This is how that intimate moment is described in Exodus 33.
"Whenever Moses went out to the Tent of Meeting, all the people would get up and stand in the entrances of their own tents. They would all watch Moses until he disappeared inside. As he went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and hover at its entrance while the Lord spoke with Moses. When the people saw the cloud standing at the entrance of the tent, they would stand and bow down in front of their own tents. Inside the Tent of Meeting, the Lord would speak to Moses' face to face, as one speaks to a friend. "
In Exodus 34, we see this kind of intimacy left a mark on Moses.
"When Moses finished speaking with them, he covered his face with a veil. But whenever he went into the Tent of Meeting to speak with the LORD, he would remove the veil until he came out again. Then he would give the people whatever instructions the LORD had given him, and the people of Israel would see the radiant glow of his face. So he would put the veil over his face until he returned to speak with the LORD."
When we develop a friendship with God, we experience a growing sense of intimacy with God. This intimacy leaves a mark on us, which others notice too. The people of Israel were overwhelmed by this intimacy and the lingering effects of it on Moses. They were afraid of that kind of intimacy and couldn't even handle Moses' full face afterwards.
God longs for this kind of intimacy with all of His creation. He experienced it with Moses and He longs for it with you. But, He does not press this kind of intimacy with us. Rather, He invites us into it.
Where are you intentionally inviting God to see into you? How are you seeking intimacy with God? Is there something you're afraid of God discovering about you? Is there a reason why intimacy with God intimidates you?
One of my favorite worship songs right now is "Firm Foundation" by Cody Carnes. I love the section where Cody sings, "Rain came, wind blew, But my house was built on You. I'm safe with You."
We've all experienced friendships where it wasn't safe to be vulnerable. Intimacy was scary because we had reason to believe the other person would use what we shared to hurt us. Some of us struggle with the idea of friendship with God for this very reason.
God is not like those friends, though. We are safe with God. He is a friend with whom we can lay ourselves bare without fearing any repercussions. He already knows it all anyway.
May you trust God and step into deeper intimacy with Him today.
Scott Savage is a pastor and a writer. He leads Cornerstone Church in Prescott, Arizona. Scott is married to Dani and they are the parents of three "little savages." He loves helping hurting people forgive others through his Free to Forgive course and you can read more of his writing at scottsavagelive.com.