How do you feel about the upcoming holiday season?
Excited?
Nervous?
Giddy?
Stressed?
Overwhelmed?
Ready for it to be over already?
A study done last year indicated that 75% of Americans were concerned about going into the holiday season. 40% of respondents expected conflict.
Many of us have experienced relationships which were strained and even broken over the past couple of years. Churches have been torn in two and families have seen their bonds tested in painful ways.
This year, it may be hard to think about peace being possible during your celebrations and gatherings. I’ve been thinking about peace during this season as we’ve explored the theme of The Prince of Peace this month at Air1.
When Jesus came as the Prince of Peace, He called His followers to be people who brought His peace to bear in the world. In Matthew 5-7, we read Jesus’ longest teaching known as the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus began that message with a section known as the Beatitudes. There, Jesus describes who was blessed in His Kingdom, which included a surprising collection of people.
In Matthew 5:9 in the New Living Translation, Jesus said: “God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.” In other translations, we read “Blessed are the peacemakers.”
If you’re struggling with the idea that peace is possible for the season we’re headed into during the holidays, consider this concept. There is a big difference between a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. One Jesus calls blessed, the other He does not.
Jesus tells us that those who work for peace, peacemakers, are the ones God blesses. When I think about what separates peacemakers and peacekeepers, I think about the difference between true peace and faux peace. Think about when a parent or relative shouted at you when you were a kid, “Hey! Get along.” Think about when you were told “Go say you’re sorry,” after you did something bad as a kid.
Did you want to get along? No.
Were you truly apologetic? No.
Did you fake harmony so you wouldn’t get in trouble? Yes.
Did you give a quick “Sorry,” so that authority figure would get off your back? Yep.
Jesus did not come as the Prince of Peace to bring a surface-level harmony or a plastic kind of peace that everyone could see as less than authentic. He came to make real, genuine peace between God and humanity. 1 Peter 3:18 summarizes how Jesus was a peacemaker. “Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God.”
Many years ago, I had made a mess of a friendship. I had said and done things which led to real hurt and distrust. A friend contacted me via email and said some things which deeply wounded me. The words this person wrote came from the places where I had deeply wounded them.
While I was reeling after reading their email, I also felt particularly powerless. I knew we were not at peace and frankly, I didn’t know if peace was ever possible again. So, I wrote them a reply which I hoped this friend might read but knew I would not receive in reply.
How can you be a peacemaker this holiday season? Consider these four actions that I took myself with that email.
-Refuse to settle for a fake peace or abandon hope for future peace.
When the temptation rises up to “go along to get along,” or pretend like nothing is wrong, reject that temptation to lie and pretend. Refuse to settle for anything less than real, genuine peace.
-Take responsibility for your contribution to past conflict
In times of adversity, it’s much easier to look out the window and blame others than it is to look in the mirror and accept responsibility for what you’ve done. Even if you see someone else as in the wrong, take responsibility for what you contributed to the situation.
-Take ownership of your contribution to real peace
If you played a part in creating a conflict, then you have a part to play in working towards peace. Look for tangible things you can do and say which will move the relationship(s) towards peace.
-Pray for Jesus to work in ways that go beyond your capacity.
In John 14:27, Jesus told His followers, “the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.” Jesus can work in our relationships in ways we cannot and can accomplish feats where we will fail. This year, pray for Jesus to work in ways that exceed your capacity and even your imagination.
Putting these steps into action requires faith in God’s character and His promises.
Cody Carnes sings about walking this path in his song, "Take You at Your Word."
I took these steps myself many years ago in the midst of that relational conflict. Many weeks and months passed by and I saw no fruit from those steps. One day, out of nowhere, I received a note from that friend who wrote words I’ll never forget. That person asked for my forgiveness and acknowledged the way I had changed my behavior. This surprising note opened the door to peace.
I don’t know how God will work through your relationships this holiday season. But, I pray that you work for peace and experience the Prince of Peace in fresh ways. May His peace guard your heart and mind.
Scott Savage is a pastor and a writer. He leads Cornerstone Church in Prescott, Arizona. Scott is married to Dani and they are the parents of three “little savages.” He loves helping hurting people forgive others through his Free to Forgive course and you can read more of his writing at scottsavagelive.com.
