And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. – Deuteronomy 6:5-7 NLT
I’ll never forget a meeting with my pastor a few weeks before my wedding. He shared a lot of great wisdom, but the last thing he said stuck out the most. He said, “Invest in your family. If you don’t win in your home, it’s hard to win outside your home.” It sounded good then, but eight years later, I’ve seen the fruit of his words.
Since then, my wife and I have been intentional about establishing rhythms for the health of our family. These rhythms include date nights, Bible reading, prayer, pizza nights, outdoor activities, travel, and mealtimes.
Are we consistent in keeping up with these rhythms? Admittedly, not as consistent as we want to be, but intentionality has created laughter and enjoying each other’s companionship more.
My wife and I have learned that busyness can rob our family of family time. And in a culture that values speed, slowing down is hard to do sometimes. So here are a few tips on making time for your family and what to include during your time together.
1. Ask open-ended questions around the dinner table. This helps open a person’s heart and shows that you value the person’s opinion. Open-ended questions will also prevent boredom around the table. One practice my wife and I love is asking what our highs and lows were throughout the day. Additionally, try using the phrase, “Tell me more about that” during dinner.
2. Celebrate each other during car drives. We drive all the time, so why not make our time in the car productive? Call out the strengths you see in your kids and spouse. There is so much power in encouraging and naming a person’s strengths.
3. Do chores together. This will bring family unity and provide an opportunity to talk about God while doing chores. Some of the best conversations are casual. Notice we are not adding anything to our day. We are simply weaving in intentional conversations in our day-to-day activities.
4. Explore the outdoors. In her book, “The Life Giving Home”, Sally Clarkson states that, “Studies have shown the outdoors benefit our bodies and our minds” (page 141). This is a great gift you can give to your family. Another benefit of the outdoors is lowered stress. In our family, I’ve noticed that the more we spend time outside and enjoy each other’s company, the less stressed we are.
5. Schedule Game Nights. After a hard, long day, I am tempted to watch TV and just relax. One discipline we’ve developed is playing board games to fight against the screen, which takes precious quality time from the family.
6. Plan Travel Fun. Traveling is a great way to build unity and closeness with family. Have fun! My wife and I love playing our favorite songs in the car when we travel. Consider pit stops for play, and don’t forget to burn off any extra energy from all the sitting.
As parents, we are called to introduce our children to Jesus, and it begins in the home. Jesus called all of us to make followers, and it’s easier than we think it is. We are influencing everyone in our homes. The only question is, what are we influencing them for?
The goal of making time for our families is not just to make time. We have a goal: to raise a family that loves God. Mark 12:30 states, “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” Notice in our verse that the command is to love God first. The starting point to family discipleship is loving God. We cannot pour into our family without growing our love for God. Focus on loving Christ first. Let Him fill your life as you pour into your family.
Dig Deeper
1. Why is scheduling time to celebrate so important for the family?
2. What is one family activity that suits your family best? Plan on doing this in the next month.
3. What is the goal of discipleship?
