"I don't like to need people."
My friend Brad shared this confession during lunch one day. Though he corresponds with many people online, Brad struggles to let others close enough to be vulnerable. He values self-sufficiency and finds asking for help uncomfortable. Getting to know Brad took intentionality and patience, but I found his honesty and consistency refreshing.
While listening to Josiah Queen's new song, "I Need You More," I thought of my lunch chat with Brad. The song embodies Queen's fresh sound and authentic lyrics, which express a longing for a more profound experience with God.
"Sometimes, you gotta break your heart To find your soul And sometimes you gotta lose your will To give God control."
Our relationship with God grows as we go through challenging circumstances and recognize our deep need for Him. When we go through adversity, we (re)discover our need for God. John Ortberg once wrote, "People who doubt God's existence often list suffering as the primary reason for their objections. People who follow Jesus often list suffering as the thing that most transformed them into a Christlike person."
After sharing Ortberg's quote in many sermons, people often tell me about times they felt closest to God, while admitting they don't long for the suffering that accompanied that intimacy. Queen writes about his experience of being broken and drawn closer to God in a world of self-sufficiency and disconnection.
"I need You like a sick man needs a physician (whoo) I need You like a hellbent man on a mission But I, I need You more."
Throughout the Gospels, Jesus moved powerfully in the lives of people who knew they needed help. In Luke 9, a desperate woman who had been bleeding for 12 years "touched the fringe of his robe, for she thought, 'If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.'"
In Mark 10, blind Bartimaeus called out to Jesus for mercy. When others told him to be quiet, "he only shouted louder, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!'" Jesus called him over, and when Bartimaeus said, "I want to see," Jesus healed him immediately.
In Matthew 9, Jesus responded to religious leaders who criticized him for attending Matthew's party with tax collectors. "Healthy people don't need a doctor—sick people do…For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."
These encounters remind me that experiencing more of Jesus comes through recognizing our need for Him. As Queen sings, the moments when life breaks us are often when we find God nearest and most powerful. Those moments expose the destructive paths we must abandon.
"I've been tryin' to rest, deep inside of my chest I can't feel my soul Disconnected from You, in the solitude That I built with my phone, come break down my walls."
That line about phone-built solitude resonates deeply. How many of us discover our disconnection from God in those Sunday morning screen-time notifications? Yet there's a profound difference between acknowledging soul-numbness and praying "come break down my walls"—and an even greater step to embrace the desperation that suffering brings.
Years later, over another meal, I told Brad I'd noticed growth in him. Surprised, he asked me to elaborate. I explained how during his health challenges, I'd watched him wrestle with God and vulnerably seek support from others. Though I wished he hadn't needed the surgeries and ER visits, I was grateful for how that season transformed his faith. After contemplating this, Brad said, "Thanks. I hadn't thought about this season in that light before today."
I encourage you to check out Josiah Queen's "I Need You More" today, especially if life has shattered or challenged you lately. You may not like the vulnerability you feel and needs you have, but this moment may be the time and place you experience God deeper than you ever have.
Scott Savage is a pastor, author, and speaker with the best last name in the world. Scott’s writing helps people transform difficult circumstances into places where they can thrive. He leads Cornerstone Church in Prescott, Arizona, and loves watching movies with his wife and three kids. You can begin Scott’s life-changing project, The 21 Day Gratitude Challenge, today.
